Falling Down

And my first pause in writing has occurred.  At least it's only a pause this time around.  Normally at this point, I would give up because if I cannot be consistent then I shouldn't be blogging.  However, I usually have about three posts and I currently has 7 (this post will make 8).  Another contributing factor to the demise of my previous blogs were the content and the focus.  I as I mentioned in a previous post, I thought I needed a specific topic to always blog about.  I don't feel that way now, I think if this blog should have a specific direction to take, it'll emerge from my ramblings.  Hmmm...so I guess this post is to say this blog ain't going no where for now. :)

Also, a ton of things have taken place in my life since my last post.  Not all huge, massive life-changing things, but things that matter to me and the direction of my heart and my life (on a smaller scale).  Looking back now, it seems that this pause was a pause for me not necessarily from this blog.  The learning lesson I've just pulled out is that every now and then we need a pause.  A pause from life to think about things and regroup.  To pull out your life goals and reexamine them; then refine them.  If you don't have any, then maybe it's time to make them or at least begin to develop them (or realize you need them in the first place).

I really wasn't planning to have a deep and meaningful post, but as I was writing those thought popped into my mind.  I wouldn't call this the "deep and meaningful" post, however, it now as me thinking and I will be following up with a more though out response to the revelation I just had.

Stay tuned...

-J

Gratefulness?

Hmmm....gratefulness...  What does that mean?  Well obviously I know what it means, but I don't always remember to be grateful.  Just for fun I looked up the definition because I like to know official definitions of words, so here it is:

1. Appreciative of benefits received; thankful.

2. Expressing gratitude.

3. Affording pleasure or comfort; agreeable.

 

As a person that has had a pretty decent life, for that reason alone, I should be grateful.  On top of that, I am a Christian and believe that Christ died so that my sins are forgiven, I should show gratefulness for that one every single second of every single day.  I have an amazing husband and friends and family, again I should be grateful.  I have a good job and have had the opportunity to attend two higher education institutions.  My list of things to be grateful for go on and on and on and on and on and on.

 

And yet, I fail every single day to show and express my gratitude.  The question is, am I supposed to?  Are we supposed to express our gratitude?  I think yes, but to what extent.  Is there a point to which we have expressed our gratitude fully?  Is it Biblical to be grateful?  I'm sitting in class right now, so I can't actually go study to find out but it's on my to-do list.  It's too bad I don't have followers on here, because it would be nice to know what other think on this topic.  Without reading the Bible, I feel like it is probably written in there that we need to express gratitude and be grateful for life and things (even if they aren't too great) because God has provided them for us.  I do not have a response for how often or how to express it.  I think we do need to express gratitude but I'm not sure of the frequency.

Follow-up to come soon, I just wanted to point out that I have been a Debbie Downer and should stop being that way because I am complaining about things that others in the world will never have an opportunity to participate in or do.  I have a great life and I am grateful.  I just need to spend more time with the Lord so that I can express it.

Oh Happy Day(s)!

This is a happy happy post (and slightly delayed)! Friday was my first PAY DAY!!!! Oh so exciting! It is nice to know that I am finally going to start paying off all the debt I've incurred over the past how many ever years it's been since I begin college.  It's also very relieving to know that A and I will be able to pay our bills and finally begin saving for an emergency fund! I really never thought this day would come, but it has and I am EXTREMELY grateful! I know I'm using a ton of exclamation points, but I'm just that happy! :)

Also, we have needed a new vacuum for some time now.  A has wanted a Dyson since we got married (we registered but didn't receive that gift for some reason, ha ha).  I thought was not a fan until I started reading and hearing testimonies of their greatness.  So I was trying to scope out the best price for either a new or refurbished one.  I know I could check craigslist.com but my thought process was that if we're going to splurge for the Dyson, we may as well get a new(ish) one that we know for sure works.  I then remembered that Best Buy carries things like that.

So yesterday, A and I decided to head to Best Buy and check out their Dyson selection.  I had one in my head that I wanted until we got there and it was tiny...  It's hard to see a small vacuum and believe that it works well and will last.  Even though I read good things about the small one, I couldn't bring myself to purchase it.  We then had to make a decision between the two larger models, the price difference was only $50 bucks.  I liked the ball for it's flexibility but A thought the larger one would be more durable.  Guess which one we got...the ball.  Let's be honest, a large part of why you choose a Dyson is for the ball.

We went with the Animal DC41 version because we have a dog and he sheds a ton.  We also found out that they make a pet grooming attachment and bought that as well.  We haven't tried it yet because we forgot how much Finn hates vacuums, plus he has a grooming appointment tomorrow.  We want to make them work for their money, ha.  Below is the awesome vacuum and attachment.  A did the vacuuming yesterday and said it works really well.  I'll post a review once I try it out.

The best part about all of this is that even though it cost an arm and a leg to buy, we were able to select 18-month 0% financing with our Best Buy card.  We used that when we bought our television (except we had 36-months for that) and it really helped spread the payments out and make it more affordable even though we're paying the same amount. AND, on top of the great financing option, we got a Best Buy gift card for $120 dollars! Umm...WOW! Yes, it would have been nicer as a rebate, but that's the biggest gift card I've ever received, especially just for buying something that I wanted anyway.  I know I have no readers yet, but if someone find this post and you've been thinking about a Dyson, now is the time at Best Buy to purchase one.  Here's the link: http://www.bestbuy.com/site/Dyson+-+DC41+Animal+Bagless+Upright+Vacuum+-+Iron/Rich+Royal+Purple/2961997.p?id=1218367480171&skuId=2961997 Happy shopping!

Thanks for reading...

-J

Timing

It's all about timing.  Every little thing in life comes down to it, even if you are unaware of that fact.  Many Christians believe in God's timing and I must admit I am one of those people.  I think that as human beings we have choices, but ultimately I think God knows what lies at the end of each path.

For the past three years, and probably even before that, I struggled to figure out a plan for my life.  I eventually figured out a major in college so that gave me some direction.  And I would pray halfheartedly for direction and then do my own thing, trying to piece it together myself.  Obviously my attempts to figure things out only went as far as making me even more frustrated.  I knew/know that I need to let God have full control over my life, but sometimes that's just really hard to do (especially for control freaks like me).  How in the world am I supposed to freely give up the reins that I'm grasping so tightly to and believe that things will work out?  How is maybe not the right question, and honestly I shouldn't be asking anyway because I know the answer.  I am supposed to give control to God.  He is in charge of this world and this life.  He knows the desires of my heart and the purpose for creating me.  Why wouldn't I give it all to him to control?  Honestly? I'm super impatient and I feel like I NEED to know the plan so that I can have a piece of mind.

There have been several moments (of despair) when I throw up my hands and "give" it all to him.  Not just control, but my fears and doubts and any other emotion I'm experiencing.  But life gets a little better and I find myself trying to plan again until I hit another pothole.  I am not saying that I think we are supposed to do nothing while sitting back to enjoy the ride.  As I said at the beginning of this tangent, I think we have choices and I think we are supposed to LIVE.  It's just that the guidance (or lack of) comes from Him, He is present even if He isn't speaking.

About Me

Hello, hello!

Alright, so I like to guess what questions my non-existent blog followers are asking about me and this incredible blog.  The next logical question is for you to ask who I am and why I'm so great.  Well let me tell you...

My name is Jenae and I'm in my early twenties. I'm married and have been married since 2009 to a wonderful man (we shall call him A).  I hail from Kansas but moved to Northern Virginia two weeks after getting married.  I have a crazy family and I miss them (not the craziness or Kansas).  A and I have a dog name Finn.  He is a Shiba Inu (google it) which means he is a brat by nature, but we love him despite his knack for shredding everything.

I am kinda obsessed with organizing, even though I have no time to actually organize anything in my life.  This is because I have been in school forever trying to finish my bachelors degrees.  Yes, I'm getting two, hence the forever part.  But I'm almost done...three classes this summer and I'm finished!!!! But as I said, that is the reason I have no time (because I'm also working full-time!).  Come August, I will have a lot more to add to the About Me tab that will eventually be on this blog, because I will actually have time to do stuff outside of my house.  :)

So that's a bit about me. I will expound on this later...

-J

It's on my to-do list to get family photos taken. 1) So A and I can have recent pictures of ourselves and 2) because we need a "family" photo with Finn.  But until that time, below is one of our engagement pictures from 2009.  I'll update when we finally get around to having our pictures taken...

Photo courtesy of FX Studios (http://iwantfx.com)

Parameters

One problem I had with creating other blogs and I even struggle with while contemplating starting up another, was that I felt like I needed a focus of a blog in order to have and maintain the blog.  And not just focus, but a narrow focus, like a specific topic such as the many flavors of jello and my opinions of them.  Okay, not that narrow, but most blogs have a topic centered agenda.  I follow a couple organization blogs, and by follow, I mean I have them bookmarked and never read them.  It's just for that one day when I will organize my life (I will discuss this at a later date).  Anyway, that was my problem and I couldn't find a topic that suited me that I would be interested in writing about for a long period of time without repeating myself a million times.

So, I solved this problem by no longer worrying about finding my niche and just blogging about whatever.  All of that to say, that I will not set parameters or define this blog by a topic or genre other than just living life.  I will talk about my life, my thoughts, my opinions, my likes/dislikes, and whatever other nonsense comes to mind.

Awesome, now that you (all of my many followers - 0) know that there are no rules to my game.  Let the games begin...

Excuse my very poorly used Hunger Games reference...

Existence Undone

Today marks the day that I am actually going to begin a blog and use it.  I have had several failed attempts over the past few years.  Each failed blog had a purpose, but either the focus was too small or I just didn't have the time to put into it (that I would have liked).  So here we are again, at the beginning of another beginning.  I'm not sure that my life is quite interesting enough for anyone to read about my adventures and mishaps, but I'm going to write on nonetheless.  If I had a bucket list, maintaining a blog would be on it, so here goes to checking that item off a non-existent list.

Now on to answering a possible question you may have: Why the title Existence Undone?  My response is, "Why not?"  Okay, that isn't my real response.  My real response is as follows: Over the past year I have that as follower of Christ, I am called to live a life like Jesus.  And now you're thinking (if you're a Christian), "Umm, duh!"  But it's more than that, the point of living a life as Jesus is to show others what that life entails and how awesome it is.  In turn, by imitating Christ, the door is opened for discipleship to happen.  Discipleship is what we are put here to do, so that is what I aspire to do.  All of that to say, this blog is a chance for me to share my life, my journey, my God, and everything that comes with those things.

I'm interested to see how this will play out because I have no plan.  I hope you'll come along for the ride.

-J